North Korea Tourism & Student City

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A few different directions on today’s podcast:

  • North Korea Tourism
  • The spreading of information in Cuba
  • The sham that is Student City in College
  • The beautiful creature that is Student City after remembering how were amazing to me in Cancun after I showed up 2 days late because of a passport miscommunication in college
  • Overall, Student City is great
  • More info on North Korea below

Here’s your little fun fact of the day. You can actually visit North Korea as a tourist in the year 2015. Yes, you read that correctly my friend. There are available tours that frequently leave from Beijing, China and cart you to North Korea via train to the capital city of Pyongyang. I’ve heard that the concessions selection on the train is very limited though so it’s advised you pack your own snack packs. Maybe a Lunchable if you’re parents are pulling over $70k combined per year. If you had a lunchable in grade school you were practically screaming my parents are upper middle class and we plan on going to Orlando for April vacation to hang with Micky and Miny. Please keep in mind that this train isn’t Hogwarts Express Platform 9 3/4 where you have a dazzling array of choices which include chocolates turning into frogs and little Emma Watson’s hanging on every word you’re about to say. You’ll probably be lucky to get some salted pretzels and a watered down Tiger beer on a 16 hour train ride and a bunch of people that don’t speak any English and are so fucking confused as to why you’re heading into enemy territory.

After arriving in the capital city of Pyongyang that’s when you get to finally soak in all of the industrial depression that Kim Jun-un and his family lineage has personally cooked up for you for the last 60 years. Granted this tour will be a big waste of money if you’re trying to get an accurate portrayal and representation of North Korea as it skips over the internment camps, poverty, deaths, starvation, etc. The guided tour is a propaganda riddled vacation that takes you around the country and metaphorically praises how girthy, powerful, luscious, and erect North Korea’s & Kim Jun-un dick is. In all reality, it’s flaccid and hasn’t had a serious movement since the 1950’s during the Korean War. All that being said, I still have somewhat of a desire to go ahead and do this tour knowing that it’s a sham. Imagine a check in from North Korea on Instagram? Your photo map would be off the charts. Conservatively, let’s say I get 70 likes from a post in North Korea. All together to get there with a plane ticket, tour guide, visa fees etc it would probably be close to $3k. Let’s do a little ROI here and get a CPL (cost per like) ratio to see if it’s worth it: 

$3,000 / 70 likes = $42.85 CPL (cost per like)

*Brain does quick analysis and agrees with heart that it’s a great idea*

Yes, completely worth it.

If you don’t know me- I’m a big fan of bizarre things in my life. Not clothes, food, or beer but specifically experiences. I honestly don’t know if there’s anywhere else in the world that is this weird and it’s been on my radar for quite sometime. Will it happen? Probably not. I’ll be honest with you, I’m a little scared that I would get dragged into some camp and be an exotic piece of ass for some prisoners in camp. I’m definitely a hard 9 in an internment camp. However, that’s not to say it won’t happen either. Safety wise, I’ve read a ton of reviews (like maybe 3) that it’s safe to visit there. If you follow the rules and don’t be a jackass you’re fine. If anything there is a moral dilemma behind this too as you’re directly paying the N. Korean government to continue preaching death and destruction to America. That message is not the most copacetic thing in my book. Although, I know that broken record over there is going to continue playing regardless if I visit there or not. Gotta be a true and loyal American at the end of the day. Decisions, decisions. Stay tuned. 

I highly recommend that you check out these 2 documentaries with Vice News. All political agenda’s put aside, these guys make some compelling documentaries and footage.

The 1st one is pretty raw, voyeur and authentic to the North Korean tourist experience. It involves Shane Smith, the founder of Vice News and his trip to North Korea in 2006. He was promptly banned from visiting afterwards….which led to the second one.

For an entertainment value, this episode is fantastic. Long story short, they convinced the North Korean government to visit with their camera crew knowing that Kim Jung-un is a HUGE NBA Fan. The guy went to private school in Europe and grew up a huge MJ fan. While they certainly couldn’t get MJ to make the visit (no casinos), what’s the next best thing? Dennis Rodman baby. They bring the Harlem Globe Trotters and play a game against the North Korea team. Hilarious that Rodman is the face of America over there. Unbelievable documentary with the “Hermit Kingdom” and Vice news.

No more North Korea anymore, rant over.

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